What Stays in Vegas Happens in Vegas

First of all, what's going on with all this singer illness? A few hours before the Elbo Room show last Weds, we learn that the headliner's singer has laryngitis, so they're cutting their set short, and aren't drawing a crowd. Then one day before the Silverlake Lounge show in L.A. we learn that the headliner's singer has the flu and they are straight up cancelling. Gah!

Good thing we are professionals in Making The Best Of A Weak Situation, because that's what we did, and the shows turned out alright. Not ideal.. but fun anyway. But no matter what, nothing can ever prepare you for Las Vegas.

"Well, you guys can do of two things at this point," says Woodstock Paul, the bartender, after we return from dinner to find the Art Bar still absolutely empty. "Play a show, or sit here and get fucking lit."

"Playing a show works," says Larry the owner.

"Uh yeah.. playing a show works," says Woodstock Paul.

"Alright, I'm leaving," says Larry the owner, "have fun, see ya. My guy will be here soon to take care of you." At this point, I'm not sure if he's talking about a sound guy, an Elvis impersonator, or both. But then he stops himself and turns back around. "I'm lying. I don't think he's coming. Have a great night."

When we first booked the show, Larry mentioned that he'd prefer we don't drink before the show. Which seemed strange to us. But it makes sense when you remember they basically give the booze away for free in that town. As long as you're either gambling or entertaining, you can drink all you want, whatever you want. And this is the night after we played in L.A. to an actual crowd... and they gave us each two Budweisers (and no, you can't upgrade to a better drink with two tickets plus cash so stop asking, jerkoff). Though what's strange is how hard it is to actually catch a buzz on all that free Vegas liquor. Or maybe it's not that strange, hmm.

Bottom line, there's just more space in Nevada. Physically and mentally. When your entire state isn't choking itself over miles of hot coastline property, you get a more relaxed kind of people.. people that don't make you wonder "is that their cool face, or are they really that pissed off?" Vegas exists solely to entertain and serve, thus the people are very friendly and very freaky. One minute they're helping you load in your equipment with a smile (holy fuck, in SF or LA you're lucky to get someone to TELL you WHERE to load in without making you feel like a retard) and the next minute, with that same big smile, they're telling you how glad they are to finally get a divorce from that damn stripper, along with a mysterious story about getting kicked out of Arizona.

Whatever. We gotta give the Vinyl Clouds credit for setting up and playing an enthusiastic set for twelve people (including the bartender and the four of us). We did a five song quickie, crazy mad punk style, which actually sounded pretty good even without the Elvis impersonator sound guy. But Vegas Jay was there, and he liked it, which kept our spirits up. Plus, later that night, Johnny told us that if you pour coca cola on raw pork, worms will come out of it. Which summed up the trip pretty nicely, I thought. Apparently there's a video of this on YouTube, you can look it up.

But really, the worst part about it is that we left our video camera at the hotel. Crap! It wasn't a great night for rock and roll, but it was a perfect night for shooting a movie. But I guess that's why what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Cause you forgot your camera.



Don't get us wrong, we love Denny's. It's a reliable staple of life on the road. But what's up with these sweet and tangy bbq turds on the placemats? We had to turn the placemats over so we could eat without looking at them...